Scuba diving at night, and aggressive ol’ crusty here, reaches boiling point over my paparazzi antics after about ten minutes. To be perfectly honest, I’m also pretty aggressive and go right up in his flat face. I ignore all personal space rules and boundary zones. I click away, trying for the best angle. Luckily I get my shot, before he takes his.
For a creature who cannot walk straight it punches out with pinpoint accuracy. A pointed claw smashes into my strobe light diffuser, presumably to stun it, before coming in for the kill. A nasty claw opens and closes around the diffuser shaft. And isn’t letting go. The camera is ripped from my hand, but doesn’t go too far, thanks to the homemade scuba diving safety band around my wrist.
We tussle blindly in a cloud of sand for a few seconds and then it dawns on me, in my other hand, I am holding a 1.5kg, 40cm club with an extremely bright light at the end of it.
No, I don’t crack the aggressive male crustacean one with my underwater torch. I simply give those beady little eyes an extreme close-up of 100% pure spotlight. Yes, it lets go. And I get to continue scuba diving.